Funny Things You See At The Gym

"I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A MODERN ANTHROPOSOPHIST."

Music composed by AS Sullivan, original lyrics by WAS Gilbert,
parodied lyrics of deepest WHS by Tom Mellett


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MODERN ANTHROPOSOPHIST:
I am the very model of a modern Anthroposophist, I've
mineral information, etheric, astral, egoist. Atlantis and Lemuria
, the Mystery of Golgotha,
With Ahriman and Lucifer, the science of the spiritual.

CHORUS:
Atlantis and Lemuria, the Mystery of Golgotha,
With Ahriman and Lucifer, the science of the spiritual.

MODERN ANTHROPOSOPHIST:
I visit Dornach every year as if it were the Vatican
The Goetheanum is my temple though I am American
I don’t know that much German but I want to keep on learnin’
And my heart is really yearnin’ knowin’ Steiner is returnin’.

CHORUS:
He doesn’t know much German but he wants to keep on learnin’
And his heart is really yearnin’ knowin’ Steiner is returnin’.

MODERN ANTHROPOSOPHIST:
I want to save the world from Ahriman and his materialism
But then I get so caught up in my Luciferic egotism
I never know what I should do, the feelings that I should imbue
What Steiner says, it must be true. The Christ Impulse? I have no clue!

CHORUS:
He never knows what he should do, the feelings that he should imbue
What Steiner says, it must be true. The Christ Impulse? He has no clue!
In short, in matters mineral, etheric, astral, egoist
He is the very model of a modern Anthroposophist.

MODERN ANTHROPOSOPHIST:
I see the elementals in the forest when I meditate
The gnomes and sylphs and undines, salamanders in the aggregate.
I don’t know what they want of me, this might be just be insanity
But Steiner teaches me to see behind the veil of reality.

CHORUS:
I don’t know what they want of me, this might be just be insanity
But Steiner teaches me to see behind the veil of reality.

 MODERN ANTHROPOSOPHIST:
I’ve done the exercises to attain my equanimity
But when a critic comes around in any close proximity
I hesitate and vacillate, I complicate and obfuscate
Deny that Steiner said it --- hey, that’s all I can communicate.

CHORUS:
He hesitates and vacillates, he complicates and obfuscates
Denies that Steiner said it --- hey, that’s all he can communicate.
In short, in matters mineral, etheric, astral, egoist,
He is the very model of a modern Anthroposophist.

MODERN ANTHROPOSOPHIST:
Philosophy of Freedom is a book I’ve never, ever read
To think about my thinking makes me sick and achy in the head.
I’d rather reincarnate as a woman or a refugee
Than ever have to read a book about epistemology.

CHORUS:
He’d rather reincarnate as a woman or a refugee
Than ever have to read a book about epistemology.

MODERN ANTHROPOSOPHIST:
[slower tempo here, getting wistful]

The three-fold nature of the human being is a mystery
And so are all the moves and gestures that I make eurythmically. . . .
The critics tell me Steiner is a madman and a racist, too.
His medicine is quackery, his claims of science just woo woo. . . .
But all I care about is finding which of four’s my temperament,
So I can know my destiny and finally reach enlightenment . . .

[back to quick tempo for finale]

I don’t know if I’m sanguine or choleric, melancholic
So I must be a phlegmatic ‘cause I am a chocoholic.

CHORUS:
He doesn’t know if sanguine or choleric, melancholic
So he must be a phlegmatic ‘cause he is a chocoholic.

MODERN ANTHROPOSOPHIST:
In short in matters mineral, etheric, astral,
egoist I am the very model of a modern Anthroposophist.

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notes to sing along in the comments